I think, more than the past, I believe in the future, and in the present, I try my best to trust.
Just because I hurt, just because I feel bad, doesn’t mean I lost faith in what’s important.
And just because I may lose track, whether by chance or on purpose, doesn’t mean I don’t know how to get back, and doesn’t mean I don’t want to go back.
It just means I’m learning.
I’m trying to do what I can with what I have. I’m trying to explore what else I can work with, play with, be with, live with. I’m trying to live the best life I can live in every moment, without getting stuck in the future, or being buried in the past. Most of all, with the demands of a presence of mind, I try to do excellently as a good person. Doing good, being good and staying good.
All this goodness, is nothing close to the childish notion of naughty and nice. Doing good as contributing to others around me. Doing my best to be thoughtful. Thinking of others’ situation before my own, and analyzing as best as possible how to reconcile both, and if sacrifice on my end must be done, then so be it. Being good as to practicing my virtues.
As difficult and impossible as they may be, I can try to be saintly, but never claim to be as such. I aspire to be not because it’s admirable but because I’m directed to be so. As everyone is, in fact. As to be saintly is to be good, people are directed to goodness. Growth is goodness. Transcendence is goodness. Using this transcendence to help us pave our destiny, but not just ours but of others’. Being good technically does not only show your faith and love for others, but your faith and love for yourself as well.
Staying good as getting back into track if I fall down. If I fall for temptations, if I forget important things and reminders, if I chose to do what is not good—Staying good has a lot to do with persistence and determination, and meaning to do it not just because you’re sincere, not just because you have to, but because you know it in your heart that you want to stay well, and you want to do good, to be good, because you are aware that this brings you happiness.
Just as you are, the goodness that you are, in your heart, you bring tidings to your existence. Happiness is happy for happiness. As happiness is universal, happiness of others, may also count on yours. Your affectivity extends from yourself, onto others and multiplies as long as others reflect their lights, from a source so Beautiful. Like mirrors, we reflect His light, His goodness, His mercy and His compassion.
I may not see everything. And I may not know everything. But I know that in my heart, that whatever I’m looking for is already watching me with love and unsurpassed longing. I search, and I am waited for. If I wait as I search for my answers, my answers wait until my personal investigation has been completed.
